Monday, January 19, 2009

Polemical

When I was in graduate school I wrote a brilliant research paper on the evolution of the health insurance crisis. And, apparently I laid the blame squarely on physicians, evil scourge that they are. And my professor, himself a physician, gave me a low B citing the paper as well reasoned but too polemic.

One of the things I learned in graduate school was the word polemic, which I think of as meaning simplistically controversial.

In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day I'm reading the "Gone With the Wind" chapter in the book Lies My Teacher Told Me by James Lowewen. The book allegedly debunks myths of American history by telling the "real story" behind such American institutions as the first Thanksgiving and the "discovery of America". This chapter is about the sugar coating, and even glamorization, of slavery in American history. As I'm reading the chapter and reflecting on the roots of racism I find myself distracted by Lowewen's polemic argument. Like this one: Very few textbooks clearly state that Thomas Jefferson was a profitable slave owner. Must be a conspiracy to keep blacks down.

Maybe so. Or maybe the rationale for what to include in a history book is far more nuanced than this. Maybe history textbooks written for kids were edited by smart people who understood that Jefferson's ethical and moral ambiguity about being a slave owner was too complicated for young children to understand - too complicated in fact for many grown adults to understand. Maybe the writers of history textbooks chose to focus on the evils of slavery rather than the hypocrisy of the time because they wanted to exclusively focus on the slavery = bad message.

Myriad psychosocial development theorists would posit that many young children - and again many adults - aren't evolved enough to really grasp a conversation about actions we take that benefit one but hurt others. How can this be done responsibly with school children, without compromising respect for our nation's leaders? How do you take a subtle analysis of human nature and transfer it to a component of a 60-minute lesson that can be absorbed by individuals at different stages in their own moral reasoning. Would you say, "Thomas Jefferson was a great man, but he was also a bad man?" You could say the same thing about MLK Jr. if the stories of his womanizing and power plays are to be believed. But to what end? What if the lesson is not to present our historic figures as full human beings, but instead to focus on the good things they did - to give children a sense that they can do good things too?

I don't believe my American history teachers lied to me, and I also believe that American history is far more complicated than a recitation of facts and a presentation of black versus white arguments. Now, I am off to honor Dr. King for the good work he did. Because he did good work, in spite of the flaws in his character.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Wino

An elderly woman confessed her alcoholism to me while we waited in the checkout line at the grocery store this afternoon.

I ran to the grocery store this afternoon to pick up fixings for a salad. And to restock the wine rack. While I hate the big box grocery store lifestyle I'm living right now I LOVE that the grocery store sells beer, wine and all manner of liquor.

The market was a typical Saturday madhouse, with pre-storm frantic water-buying layered on top. As I wrapped up my own chaotic run through the store ("Romaine - check," "Six bottles of cabernet and pinot noir - check," "Ooooh! Pudding - check!") I rolled up to the nearly 250 feet of checkout lanes. Each lane was overstuffed with overflowing carts pushed by overly anxious people. I took fourth place in a lane behind an older woman with a sparse number of goods in her cart. A box of store brand instant stuffing mix, a quart of skim milk, a whole chicken, two apples. She smiled at me.

"I normally never come here on a Saturday," I said,making idle chatter.

"People are stocking up for the storm," she replied.

"And, the embarrassing thing is," I continued, "I'm only here because I wanted to stock on on wine before the storm."

She said, "Well I certainly understand that! There was once a time when I really enjoyed a glass of wine." She waved at her cart, free of potent potables. "Not anymore, I stopped when I started to think that maybe I was enjoying it too much." She hurried, "Never in the morning, I never had a drink of wine in the morning."

A little flummoxed by the revelation I said, "You must have an enormous amount of will power. That's a strength."

"Not will power, prayer," she replied, unpacking her cart onto the conveyor belt.

"Then you have God."

"Yes, I have God," she said as she pushed her cart forward.

*****

I am nearly always amazed at the depth to which people reveal themselves in these types of random encounters. And I am always grateful for the reminder of the fundamental human desire for connection with other people.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Curvy from my head to my toes

If you've met me know you know I'm a curvy woman, with a close to hour glass figure (or hour and a half figure as my sister once described). In fact, even my feet are curvy. At least, that's how my podiatrist described them during my third post-surgical check-up following a bunionectomy and metatarsal osteotomy two months ago.

I was just gearing up to hop off the exam table to grab a copy of US News and World Report when Dr. Basile burst into the room and said, "How are you?"

"Great. How are you?" was my reply. And in fact, I was great. I had worn high heels three days without any pain at the surgical site. I had tried cross-country skiing and was pleased to get my boots on and understanding when the motion was too painful. I've been walking regularly without any sign of a limp and the final bits of the dissolving stitches had finally left my foot.

"I'm glad to hear that, because I'm not happy with the way your foot has healed."

"What does that mean?" I said, immediately suspicious. I tensely shifted my foot which was resting on the pull out tray at the base of the exam table.

Dr. Basile grabbed my foot and explained that my big toe was still significantly curled towards the center of my foot. Before the surgery it was resting under the second toe. Now the gap between the two toes is maybe big enough to slide a dime between, lengthwise.

He went on to explain "I'm pretty anal about the toe being as straight as possible. And in fact, I have patients whose toes are much straighter than yours who have been angry with me when they realize their toe is not 100% straight. Let me show you what is happening on the x-rays."

I pulled on my sock and my brown suede Dansko clog and followed him into the hall. He showed me the before and after xrays, where I could clearly see the loss of bone on the left instep (the bunionectomy) and the location of the two screws at the base of my metatarsal series in the big toe. I could also see that the change in the arc of the curve on my big toe is slight, enough to keep it from bumping into the second toe, but not enough to change the fundamental shape of my foot.

Dr. Basile said, "I can fix it by cutting the top bone in the big toe, and inserting another set of screws. I didn't want to do this at first, because your recovery time would be longer, and it would reduce the flexibility of your toe." He looked at my querulously.

"It is curvy. I'm curvy." I said to Dr. Basile. "As long as being curvy doesn't hurt, I'm okay with leaving this alone." I started to walk away.

Dr. Basile smiled and chuckled. "You are going to be fine," he said as I waved good-bye and headed out the door.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Thumbs Down: Generic sliced cheese food

In a panic about the state of the economy I bought a package of generic sliced cheese food while grocery shopping a couple of weeks ago. And not the store brand, but even more generic than the store brand. "Guaranteed Value American Sandwich Slices."

Tonight I had the opportunity to taste the individually wrapped American sandwich slice when I made a grilled cheese food sandwich to accompany my chicken noodle soup for dinner. BMG, a cheese connoisseur who has eaten many a sliced cheese food sandwich, generously remarked that the generic generic cheese tastes like plastic. He is being far too kind to the people at the Guaranteed Value Sliced Cheese Food Factory. Because it actually tasted like hot spit filled with sand in what was masquerading as a melty delicious exterior. And I ate the whole sandwich trying to love the hot spit and sand in the melty deliciousness. But I never loved it. I hated it. And now I'm sad I spend $2 on 16 pieces of cheese. $0.12 per slice is WAY too much to have spent on this garbage.

My advice to you, dear readers, is that it is not worth it to save $0.025 per slice to have to eat hot spit mixed with sand. Thanks for listening.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Facebook movie game: Do you have a life? I do.

I've seen 69 of 239 films! Well, at least 69 of 239 films in their entirety and in my recollection.

This game is going around on Facebook. SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up as you go (you'll understand as you move it), change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun, and if you go over 85, I won't think you don't have a life, but WILL think that you love movies!

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 6

(x) The Princess Bride
() Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 9

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 10

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 14

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 17

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) King Pin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG
Total so far: 18

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 20

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 20

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 23

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
(x) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled (The Peter Cook/Dudley Moore version is what I saw)
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
( ) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 29

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 34

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
Total so far: 40

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
( ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
( ) Shrek 2
Total so far: 49

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
(x) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 51

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 57

( ) Basketball
( ) Hostel
(x) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
( ) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 59

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 62

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far:64

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 64

( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
( )Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( )Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

Total so far: 69

Sunday, December 14, 2008

A perfect Christmas

For the first time in more than 10 years I've been excited about a little decorating for Christmas. I love the lights and the smell of a Christmas tree. Growing up my mom would enlist the entire family in decorating the weekend following Thanksgiving. We would string garland and lights on the banisters, bedeck the windows with lights, and tie red ribbons on nearly every object in the house that could accommodate a red ribbon. It was an exciting family project that, for me, heralded the start of the Christmas season. I had been in a relationship with a Jew for several years who objected to Christmas decorations. So, in the spirit of relationship harmony I swallowed my enthusiasm for decorating.

This year, BMG affirmed my interest in decorating, which has opened the floodgates for my inner Martha Stewart. But, the house isn't quite Turkey Hill Farm, so I knew I needed to start small. BMG and I decided no tree this year (the house still needs some work to make room for a tree). Sigh. I still wanted to decorate, so I decided I would string lights onto the wreath I bought to hang on the front post. But, no power source. Hmmm. What to do? Aha! I remembered using battery operated lights once for a work event, so I started to scour the ad circulars for similar Christmas lights that would just require a simple flick of a switch and, through the miracle of mercury or acid or whatever it is that makes batteries work, I'd have a tastefully lit wreath.

I found a deal on lights at Stop & Shop - buy two boxes of 15 lights each for $4. So, I bought two, wound the lights around the wreath, and wired the battery boxes to the back of the circle of greens. And then I ran out to buy size C batteries - ten of them because I remembered from my work experience that these lights took a lot of juice, and I didn't want to be unlit for even one more night. I excitedly put the batteries into the compartment, stowed the spares, and then tried to flick the switch for my "voila" moment.

One string of lights never lit. Apparently there wasn't enough tension on the battery buttons to make it work, no matter how many times I flipped the batteries over, switched them with new batteries, or tried to wiggle every possible moving part (and even some unmoving ones.) And the second string of 15 tiny white sparklers? The battery door was SOOOO tight that I had to turn the lights on and off with...my teeth.

While I LOVE Christmas lights, I love my teeth more. So, I've taken the battery operated lights off the wreath and thrown them away. And I've replaced the wreath with a beautiful (and free) swag given to me by Coop. The wreath is now indoors, hanging on the front window, looking festive and sharing its evergreen fragrance with us - a perfect substitute for a tree. (I may even hang ornaments on it.) My only string of regular Christmas lights is about 15 years old. And it is now at the bottom of a trash bag. Because it wouldn't work when I plugged it in after winding it around the indoor wreath.

No lights, no tree. The house is fragrant. And I don't feel stifled by my relationship. Feels like a perfect Christmas to me.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Stepford Gifts

My home has been barraged with ad circulars and catalogues over the last month. I was kind of hoping the catalogue people wouldn't find me when I moved, but apparently they have, or a whole new crop of catalogue people has discovered where I live.

I thumbed through a glossy, four-page ad for a big box housewares store this evening while waiting for my sister, who was at Target, to return a call. I found the circular to be depressing because of the Stepford Wives-like quality of the goods being hawked. Things like,
Talking picture frames ($19.99-$139.96)
"Mr. Beer" Deluxe Home Edition Brew Kit ($29.99)
"Retro Series Hot Air Popcorn Maker ($39.99)
Pet nail trimmers ($19.99)
Personal, hand-held breathalyzer ($14.99)
Hot chocolate maker ($19.99).

As I absent-mindedly turned the pages all I could imagine was hundreds of Christmas trees with the exact same collection of plastic crap assembled underneath them. And when these presents are all unwrapped, every person in every home will be listening to their identical talking photo frame as they enjoy the identical scents wafting from their identical mini reed diffusers, chugging their 8th glass of identical home brew chilled in their identical under-the-counter wine coolers. And they will know they are drunk because they have measured their blood alcohol levels with their identical breathalyzer/key rings.

Ugh.