I haven't exercised in nearly a month. I was sick, then my mom came to visit, then I got sick again, and now it feels like all of my spare hours are joyfully spent on holiday prep.
So the fat girl inside of me is feeling REALLY fat.
I have a pair of trouser socks that have ALWAYS squished my legs. I've had them for two years, they have always hurt me, and I persist in wearing them. Why? Because to concede that the socks hurt must be an admission that I'm too fat to wear socks.
So, yesterday, while my fat self is feeling particularly fat I accidentally pull the tight socks from my drawer. And I wear them, because I have to wear them, otherwise I'm admitting I'm fat. By the end of the day my fat socks made my fat right leg physically hurt.
And today there is a mild bruise around the top of my right calf and I feel as if I have a blood clot behind my knee. My leg hurts and I'm afraid to say or do anything about it. Because I'm too fat to wear socks.
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