I am the 1%

I finished my 2013 charitable giving while sitting in horrid traffic today. I have an anemic commitment to give away 1% of my net pay each year. I'm not solving the world's problems with my 1%, but I am creating a routine of giving that makes me feel good about myself, and is likely to have more impact as my earning potential grows.

This year, the squeeze on my checkbook that resulted from both hosting a wedding and finishing major house renovations within two months made, "I just don't have anything extra to give away this year" such a tempting position to take. I was desperate to say this.

But as the wedding and the house renovations put a squeeze on me, they also continue to remind me of the privilege I enjoy in the world.  I believe that generosity shouldn't be defined by giving away what's extra. Generosity, in my opinion, is about giving away something you would like for yourself, sacrifice for the greater good.

(Think about it - when you clean out your closets to make way for new clothes, it is NICE to give the stuff you no longer want to your favorite clothing give-away program, but is it generous? I'd say no. It is nice and convenient. But you are giving away what is, to you, trash.)

So, give I did. While sitting in two hours of Boston morning traffic.

Here's where my money went:

The bulk of my giving - 37.7% - went to local organizations that help children and families in crisis. I'm not making a dent in the long term causes of poverty. But, because my empathy is nearly disabling, I know I want to use my time and treasure, right now, to alleviate suffering. The charities I give to include Cradles to Crayons, the Hingham Interfaith Food Pantry and Catholic Charities in Central NY (where my mom works as a case manager for families moving out of homelessness.)

The next largest chunk of my giving - 24.5% - went to environmental conservation - the National Parks Conservation Association is my fave, followed by the local Trustees of the Reservation. I give to the Trustees in part so I can get free admission to my favorite public lands to walk and be still.

I have a commitment to giving to charities if a friend asks - for a bike race, marathon or other cause. This year, at least 21% of my giving fell in this arena. Charity Water, the oral cancer foundation, and Raising A Reader MA are among the groups I supported from this bucket this year (and I know I missed some that BMG and I gave to from our joint account). Unless I really can't support the cause for personal reasons. For example, I'm not against the death penalty, so if you do a pray-a-thon to raise money to fight the death penalty, I won't give. I DO admire you for your commitment to a cause that makes your heart go pitter pat, but it isn't my cause.

Finally, while it doesn't touch my day-to-day life, I do give money to global disaster relief, through Doctors Without Borders. And, because it touches my life nearly daily, I give to my local library.

I know my gifts are small. And small helps. And small grows. It grows by invigorating me, and by inspiring me to do more. I'm making the time for regular blood donations, and starting to wrap my brain around carving out time to volunteer somewhere regularly - perhaps for an organization getting at the root cause of an issue that tears at my heart strings (because so much of my giving is focused on immediate problems rather than chipping away at the source of the problem).

I am the 1% and I'm proud of it.

What organizations do you support - with your time, talents or treasure? Why?

Out of town

"And there should not be a week's worth of recycling piled up on the counter when I get home."

"I agree."

"I mean, you will do the work necessary to ensure the recycling is in the appropriate place before I get home."

"What?!"

I'm trying to close some home making loopholes before leaving town for seven days of business travel.

There is nothing I hate more than coming home from any trip and having to clean my house. And I married a, well, let's just say I married a person who does not aspire to a clean house.

So I made some rules before leaving town, designed to help ensure my home is moderately tidy when I return from my trip to York, Maine and then Milwaukee, WI on Wednesday, 11/13. Here they are:
1. Dishes will be done, and not piled on the counter or in the sink. Piled in the dishwasher is acceptable, but no preferable.
2. When the trash is full, it will be emptied and the liners replaced.
3. The cat box will be scooped at least twice at least two days apart (meaning it can't be scooped once and then scooped an hour later).
4. Recycling will not be piled on the counter.

On the latter point, my beloved BMG said, "So the lesson here is throw the recycling out and then take out the trash."

To which I replied, "I don't care how you do it, I just don't want to deal with your mess when I get home."

This COULD be the theme of our marriage.

I am irrationally irritated by people who proclaim the name of the designers they wear. Seriously irritated.

I have been known to unfriend and unfollow friends who have - on multiple occasions - crossposted Instagram photos of their new Rolexes (or Tory Burch handbags or Zac Posen sheets or...) on Facebook and Twitter, with the caption, "Look at my Rolex. My Rolex is so awesome!" or "I just couldn't decide if I wanted the 14,000 thread count sheets for $1,000 or the 10,000 thread count set for $750."

I've spent a little bit of time trying to understand this reaction. Because on the face of it, it is a little cuckoo bananas.

And I've realized that it isn't. Cuckoo bananas that is.

I find this behavior irritating because the insistence that I notice the expensive brand comes off as either braggadocio or as an expression of a subconscious lack of confidence. And I have patience for neither.

Bragging is smarmy and generally intended - consciously or not - to make other people feel small.  If you captioned your photo with even a modicum of humility instead - "Wow! I feel so lucky to have saved enough money to be able to buy my dream watch! #luckyme #hardworkpaysoff" - I'd be okay with it. And repeated bragging about repeated designer items you paid a lot of money for - regardless of how easy it is for you to do this - is simply a demonstration that your core values are out of sync with some of my core values (e.g. modesty, humility, utilitarianism).

If your bragging is actually a manifestation of a subconscious lack of confidence? Maybe you were poor growing up and you still don't trust that that you will fit in with the casual, Rolex-wearing types? Or you are ashamed of your hippie parents and need to insist over and over again that you are a Republican lawyer who buys Republication things and IS NOT A HIPPIE dammit. I'm sorry for your pain. Seriously. And I wish you'd gain some awareness of how you are foisting your personal crap on the rest of us. I'd be amused by a post that demonstrated some awareness by reading something like "My hippie parents would go into anaphalactic shock if they knew how much I paid for this Rolex. But, I'm not them. #allgrownup." And repeated posts that demonstrate what I might interpret as a lack of confidence? I want to recommend a therapist to help you deal with your baggage, not read about it day after day after day.

What IS cuckoo bananas if throwing out the baby with the bath water and choosing to unfollow/unfriend wholesale. No individual is defined by a single behavior. And the bragging - whatever the motivation - is one behavior of a complex being that I interpret as being aggravating to the max.

But, I'm not quite willing to change my behavior quite yet. Guess I have some more examining to do. In the meantime, I'll keep MY feelings to myself.

A Household Quiz

You are restocking the medicine cabinet in your bathroom and have two empty boxes that need to be thrown away. 

Oh no! You realize the bathroom waste can is full. 

Do you:

A. Empty the waste can, put in a new liner and throw away the boxes? 

B. Find another trash receptacle in the house to toss the boxes in?

C. Realize these are paperboard and you can simply fold them up and put them with the other paper recycling?

D. Set the trash can on fire? (It IS getting colder outside and you'd rather not pay for heat if you can burn things.)

E. Do this and hope your wife doesn't notice when she gets home?

I'm pretty sure I'm going to blink first on this one. 

Five things I still don't miss about my non-profit job

My heart belongs to the non-profit sector.

I have graduate degrees in Social Work and Public Health, and I think of myself as a community organizer at my core.

But, after 20 years working in the non-profit and municipal sectors in Massachusetts, I decided to call it quits this spring and move into the corporate world.

There is a lot I miss about the non-profit work environment. Things like the feeling that "we're all in this together," the unflagging, personal commitment to mission, the flexible work environment which often compensated for pay that undervalued employees' skill sets.

But, six months after I made the jump, that I don't miss about a non-profit workplace, particularly my last office. These include:

• Having to step over homeless people to get into the office 
• Inadequate basic desk and office equipment (e.g. voice mail and a phone at my desk)
• Lack of administrative/operational systems (e.g. system for sorting and distributing mail)
• Decision-making based on relationships before the interest of the business, and its dirty cousin, excusing mediocrity and poor performance to avoid hurting someone's feelings
• Executive whining when one's sense of mission did not override one's desire to be with family, manage illness, have work/life balance, etc. 

Don't get me wrong. The corporate sector is far from perfect. But, at the end of the day, there is no question about motive or purpose. Whether manufacturing widgets or operating in the service economy, business exists to do the best job it can at the lowest possible price in order to make money. I like what I do and I respect the company for which I work. But I'm under no illusion that I'm saving the world. And this makes it a whole lot easier to take a sick day, walk somewhere to grab lunch, or to leave after eight hours at my desk. 

I look back on my last position now with incredulity. How did I - how did anyone on the team - survive in these conditions? It is nearly impossible to get work done efficiently - a necessity when every dollar you spend is a dollar you need to raise - when there was no consensus on who should check voicemail and distribute phone messages, let alone no professional telephone system.  

I love working with a sense of mission. But, at the end of the day, work is work. So, until I find the perfect non-profit or government sector job, I'll stay where I am, marketing widgets and checking my voicemail. 

My Bucket List Spillith Over

I have a new thing to add to my bucket list - seeing the Magna Carta in real life.

I was just reading a news article about an effort by the British Museum to put each of the four remaining copies under one roof - for a special exhibit. Apparently, hundreds of copies of the document were created - to send to the aherrifs and other personnel of municipalities in England in 1215 - to educate them about the forts to quell an uprising.

I want to stand - in the age of email, the Internet and television - and imagine a time when the only way to educate a nation about new laws was to write them out, by hand, and deliver them by horseback.

....and all the children are above average

I've decided to stop thinking of people as stupid. This type of judgment doesn't help me honor the inherent worth and dignity of anyone.

Including myself.

Because embedded in the assumption that people are stupid because they don't process ideas and information the way I do is a belief that I'm average. And it logically follows that people who don't do things the way I do are therefore below average.

It dawned on me today that I could reframe my way of people in the world and assume that I'm an outlier, above average.

And the people who do things like show up at a job site without the right equipment and decide they just can't work today - instead of going back to the shop and getting the right equipment, or better yet, asking in advance "What equipment do I need?" - they're not stupid, but rather average.

I guess you could say I'm lowering my standards for humanity. I'm ok with that.