Thursday, May 10, 2007


The Dalai Lama is one of those people - like Nelson Mandela - whose mere presence causes me to smile.

The Boston Globe reported this morning that he gave the convocation speech at Smith College in Western Massachusetts yesterday. In his speech, he is reported to have "...also warned of the psychological dangers of unhappiness, hatred, and anger and of broader challenges, particularly that of overpopulation, which he said he views as a major issue facing humankind." ("The Dalai Lama looking for answers too," by Michael Paulsen forThe Boston Globe, May 10, 2007)

Four years ago my biological clock surprised me by starting to tick. It really felt as though a clock had been turned on. It took me more than two years to sort out my feelings about having children from my hormonal and biological impulses. In the process, my then relationship of nearly seven years ended.

I made it through the woods and have enormous clarity and confidence about my role as an aunt to six little people, and the loving friend of countless 30- and 40-somethings who have families, or are working very hard (and spending lots of money) to make families. And, I have no pangs. I have no second thoughts. I have no inner, torturous dialogue when I talk with friends about their efforts to get pregnant. I have no fear that my family will be disappointed with me if I don't populate the earth - carry on the family legacy - as they have chosen to do. I cannot explain what created the confident shift in attitude - except perhaps the willingness to engage in the difficult conversation between my biological drive and my rational self, and to share the struggle with other people as I sorted out what was right for me.

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