Amputees

BMG and I lay in bed last night giggling hysterically as we told each other jokes from the "Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who..." genre. I don't know why these are so darn funny to me, but they are. Here are the ones I remember from childhood:

Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who hangs on the wall?
A: Art

Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who lays on the floor?
A: Matt

Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who hangs out in the pool?
A: Bob

Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who lives in a hole?
A: Phil

Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who lives in a pile of leaves?
A: Russell

And...from BMG, these gems, as told in his sleepy haze last night:
Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who lives in a garden?
A: Soil.
ME: SOIL? What kinds of name is Soil?
BMG: Whoops! I meant Pete. The answer is Pete.

Q: Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs who stuck to the side of a tree?
A: Pitch?
ME: Pitch? Who the hell names their kid Pitch?
BMG: Well, you never know, someone could name their kid Pitch.

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Apparently there are zillions more - some good some stupid. Visit this link to check 'em out, or put your own amputee joke in the comments section.