Watching train wrecks

Exhausted by my laborious day moving from hammock to double recliner back to the hammock at BMG's little house, I wandered home last night at around 9:00 PM. After about 20 minutes of domesticity, and a quick change from my new, lifesaver colored fake polo shirt, I settled into my familiar position on the futon. And I started watching shows on TLC about morbidly obese people.

To be fair, I wasn't seeking out these shows. I really wanted to watch What Not To Wear or, better yet, a rerun of Law & Order (perhaps you've heard of this little show?).

But, with NOTHING else on TV, and missing BMG's TiVo deeply, I settled into a program about four people so obese they are crippled by their own weight. Each person has an eating disorder - food addiction - and binge uncontrollably on up to 36,000 (thousand!) calories a day.

Why do I watch this? Is it to horrify myself into not eating that second piece of chocolate caramel tart? Is it to make myself feel better because even though I've gained about 10 pounds I'm not THAT fat? Is it just driven by that human impulse to watch train wrecks?

I'm not sure. I do know that I fell asleep during the program. When I woke up, the next program, "The World's Fattest Man" had started. It was after 11:00 PM, and Mondays are always stressful days for me at work. I seriously contemplated forcing myself to stay up to watch it. While eating another piece of tart. And then, in a rare moment of self-respect, I turned off the television, and crawled into my bed, and promptly fell asleep - sufficiently sated with my dose of healthy self-esteem.